


The world has changed forever

by GreenGlitchBitch



Series: Stucky oneshots [10]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Lord of the rings song, M/M, Panic Attacks, Pre-Avengers (2012), Small Fury appearance, Song fic, Steve Feels, mentions of Bucky - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-13
Updated: 2019-05-13
Packaged: 2020-03-02 19:30:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18817522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GreenGlitchBitch/pseuds/GreenGlitchBitch
Summary: He stood in Time Square, in the same place the agency called Shield found him, after fleeing their compound.





	The world has changed forever

**Author's Note:**

> I'm a huge Lord of the Rings fan, and I love the music Howard Shore conducted, and the songs that were written for the movies. One of my favorite is Arwen's song that plays in the House of Healing in Return of the King, and it just makes me think of Steve, and how he was forced to move on in the modern day after being frozen for 70 years. And that's how this fic came into being! There are mentions of Bucky, but not by name. Everytime Steve thinks of Bucky, I italicized his pronouns, not because of any resentment or hatred, but to emphasize that for Steve, the pain is still very real, and it hurts to think about Bucky. I'll link the song off of Youtube, if you want to listen to it. It's a short song but it's really beautiful. Anyway, I hope you enjoy!

_ With a sigh, you turn away _

__ He stood in Time Square, in the same place the agency called Shield found him, after fleeing their compound. At least this time, there weren’t cars and agents surrounding him, just a couple of agents ordered to tail him, and make sure he doesn’t do anything rash.

  It brought tears to his eyes, to see how the world changed so quickly for him. Everyone he knew was gone, or close to it. The last thing he remembered was fighting the war, but suddenly, he’s awake, and the war was won.

__ He walked to the nearest subway station that took him to Brooklyn, and he knew his shadows were following him, though he dared not look for them. He rode the train to the stop he knew best, and exited the station, walking out onto the streets.

_ With a deepening heart, no more words to say _

__ He walked the same walk he’d known for years, the path burned into his memory. He wouldn’t be able to get rid of it if he tried, but he didn’t want to. He knew the building immediately. It hadn’t changed at all. Fury had told him they made it a memorial, but he needed to see it for himself. The building looked exactly as it did when he lived in it. He could only guess that it looked the same way on the inside.

  He walked into the building, knowing that while it was supposed to be closed today, they were expecting him. Fury insisted he go when it would be empty. He walked up the steps, ignoring the markers that held his history, seeing the same numbers on the doors he’d grown accustomed to seeing all those years ago. Then, he reached the door, and his feet stopped before his brain had time to register.

_ You will find, that the world has changed, forever _

__ The door was open already. Of course it was. This was a museum, not his apartment anymore. He stepped in, and didn’t hear the floorboard creak like it always would when someone walked in, and he knew there was no turning back. This wasn’t his home anymore. He can’t escape here, and wish he could just go back to simpler times, before the war, before the serum, before the train, before any of this.

  It took everything in his power to keep from letting the tears fall. He noticed his shadows left him alone when he stepped in. At least they have some decency.  He walked further into the apartment, noticing all the inconsistencies. They never had that nice a radio. The couch was never that ugly. The table had a wobbly leg, they didn’t own that many lamps. The bathtub was never claw foot.

_ And the trees are now turning from green to gold _

__ He walked into the bedroom, and his heart instantly broke, tears finally making their way down his cheeks. They never had separate beds. They always shared a bed, either for warmth, or because it was the only place they could be themselves. On the chair next to the other bed,  _ his _ uniform sat, folded neatly, hat on top, just like it had the day  _ he _ left. Memories, both happy and sad, came flooding back to him.

  He felt his heart speed up at an alarming rate, and his lungs felt like they were closing. It was like an asthma attack all over again, even though he can’t get them anymore. He collapsed to the floor, and gasped for air, breathing deeply and quickly. Instantly, he knew what he was feeling. A panic attack.

  He couldn’t calm down, no matter what he tried. So he thought of what  _ he _ used to say, whenever he had an asthma attack. 

_ C’mon, breath for me, baby. I know it’s hard, but you can do it. Match my breathing, in and out. There you go, doll. You can do this, in and out, in and out. Breath with me, I’m here with you. Focus on my voice, and breath with me. That’s better. There we go, I’m with you, you’re doing great. Just keep breathing. _

__ He focused on  _ his _ voice, on what  _ he _ was saying, and how calm  _ his _ tone was. He focused on the memory, and felt his breathing slow down, and his heart return to a normal pace. There were too many memories on this building, of them together, the only place they could be safe from the hate of the outside world. This apartment was their sanctuary, their refuge, where they found solace.

_ And the sun is now fading, I wish I could hold you closer _

__ He couldn’t stay any longer, without memories of a simpler, better, happier time came back to him, and he wouldn’t be able to handle it. He could still feel the tears falling down his cheeks, and he took a moment to recover. He wiped his eyes, took one last look around the apartment they used to share, the apartment they loved each other in, and promptly left the building, his shadows following him again.

  He got on the subway again, and realized he wasn’t going far. He needed to work out these emotions, but the only way he could think was the wrestling place  _ he _ boxed at. It always seemed to work for  _ him _ , to punch out his emotions on a punching bag. Maybe it could help him. He got off at the right stop, and walked into the boxing place, already knowing it was still there. He passed a picture of  _ him _ , framed on the wall, and sped up, not wanting to dwell on it.

  He promptly set up a bag, and wrapped his hands, and set to punching. The more he punched, the more he remembered. The day he lost  _ him _ , putting the plane in the water, being unfrozen. It got to him, and he punched a hole right through the bag, sending it flying, and the sand spilling out. He took a sew deep breaths, and grabbed another punching bag, knowing he would pay for the bags in full.

  “Trouble sleeping?” the voice of Fury called out from the entrance, and Steve knew, America needed his services once again.

**Author's Note:**

> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BuZ8AyDtx7A  
> Also, just a quick note, I'm a graduating senior this year, and school ends for me in a week. I have to return my computer by the 16th, and I don't have a personal laptop. So, there might be a gap in fics that I put up, but it's not because I don't want to write, all I will have is my phone, and writing fics on that is the worst. So, there might be a bit of a lapse in fics for a little while. If I had to guess, maybe no more than 2 months? I don't know for sure when I can get a personal computer, but just letting you guys know now. Anyway, hope you enjoyed, and I'll hopefully get a personal laptop to write more soon!


End file.
